Our brains are damaged by a virus which is called “sin” in the Bible. It would seem that we, earthlings, are completely useless then. If we can’t even count in mind by our damaged brains, how could we know about God like higher creatures and to be of any use?
But God decided to save us. Salvation of so bad things as we is a very great thing. In us there is a great thing then. This will make us above angels afterwards.
Since early stages of my Christian life I set the purpose to attain understanding what is grace, why Christ died for us, how it is related with our salvation, etc. Bible tells that it is a mystery, angels desire to look into.
Angels wanted to understand why Christ died for us, what is the exact purpose.
Now I started to understand it. See my article Should I abandon the gospel for a trillion dollars?
I discovered something with my broken brain that even angels didn’t know. So I hinted angels how to understand the sacrifice of Christ.
Now I think, my life purpose is accomplished. It does not mean that I would stop to live, I may do yet something, but it is just a Sabbath after the hard work (not in the sense of moving less or straining my brain less, but in the sense the the finish line is crossed).
As such I paid almost all my money for a press release on this topic. (I don’t expect to die of hunger or even come into a debt, but my financial situation does not seem good now.) I chose to pay all money, because probably only this is important and I am indifferent of what will happen then. I hope this press release will further show angels further the mysteries. I think, it is not my task anymore, anyway I am a sinner not a good runner and have no reason to assume that running after the finish I would attain even more prize.
I seek a prize not for myself but for Christ:
(Phil. 3:7-10) “7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yes doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the science of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having my own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable to his death.”
Now it is science of Christ Jesus my Lord that is the things which he teaches to angels, the thing which I lived for. Loss of faith, loss of spirituality, even loss of mind of myself, I count advantage for Christ because I suffered like Him and reached a similar result to show it to angels not for myself, not for gain of my faith or spirituality or love. Or do you think that being beaten by a frying pan you gain faith, spirituality, and love? Do you think that extreme poverty helps to love more or to become more spiritual? It is not so. (How could you become spiritual if you had no money for spiritual books or bus tickets to a church, as it was in my life some time ago?)
So it is not very important whether I will save this world as I planned in this sermon. What I counted a gain that is to save the world, may be counted as a loss, not the best variant.
I was found in Him, becoming like His sacrifice, “conformable to his death”, even despite I lost righteousness as no man can keep righteous when he suffers extreme poverty, hunger, solitude, and worse beating by the head (even if this is because him trying to follow the Gospel).
As I’ve said in the above mentioned article, I broke the contract with God which is called “the New Covenant” because I realized it was the only way to save a trillion dollars and avoid other problems (including lack of love, hate, offence, lost purpose, etc., partly caused by sufferings and beating, partly by confusion of thoughts and feelings.) Now I am free of it.
But why then (after I already denied to follow the Gospel anymore) do I still try to fulfill the teaching of the Gospel to be like Christ, to follow Him and become like a sacrifice? Because I don’t see any other purpose in the life. I am a sinner and can’t invent for myself a better purpose.